Adoption

Maybe it because mothers' day is just around the corner but right now at this moment, I do not like the fact that I am adopted.

There I said it.

I met my birth mother close to two years ago and well it didn't go the way i though it would and I haven't talk to her in a long time. I always knew that I had two sisters and I met them that day too. My one sister is going to have a baby, her first, she is due and June. In some sense, I will be an aunt but the chances of me meeting this kid are slim to none. That breaks my heart, I want to be there and I want to be in the kid life and all of their lives but they aren't letting or my birth mom is letting me.

I do not know.

It not fair, she gave me up. She made that decision, not me. She has to live with her choices. I don't hate her, I never did. I love my life and is very thankful to her for giving it to me. But now that I want to be involve in her life and my sisters, she once again has the power to stop it and it not fair. I should I have a choice here.

God, one day. I am the type a person who keeps her month shut, I hardly ever say what I am thinking. I sometimes write down the convo. I wish I had just to get them out there for myself, the person never ever see it. But seriously, one of these days, I gonna loose it with her and tell her everything I want (sometimes need) to say and I don't think it will be pretty.

Adoption breaks my heart.
My situation breaks my heart.

and it not ucking fair.