Prayer

Life is funny, and I know a lot of people say that but really my life never seem to stay the same. Sometimes it good to have stable things going in my life but most of the time it drives me crazy. Because I want things to be different and exciting, like other people lives.

For a couple weeks, I kept saying, "God, I need a freaking miracle."

I believe I am watching a miracle un-folding.

It a beautiful thing

I sometimes, cannot believe how amazing our God is, How He really is there for each one of his children. How most of my life is a lot of little mixstakes yet he still there, giving me things, I don't really deserve.

Isn't Jesus, just the best?
Isn't the wonder of prayer just awesome?

Prayer is such a powerful thing, I forget that all the time because I don't really pray how much as I should. When prayers are answers, it just so humble-ing.

It just plain beautiful.

Better Late than Never

This year has been great, so many things to be grateful for.

*My Family, they are a pain most of the time but I couldn't live without them. They make my life better.
*My Friends, all of them, they are my family. I love them and very thankful for the love they give me.
*My health, I may not be in the greatest shape but I am alive and that something to be very thankful for.
*My house, some people don't have one but I am one of the lucky ones.
*My job, it a stressful job but it amazing.
*My Snickers, he a wonderful bunny, who brings me great joy.

On a other note, if you read this, can you remember me in your prayers. Nothing bad has happen, I just feel like I need a big miracle. I need something, I just feel it. Thanks.

Tellin My Story

No one reads this blog but me so I gonna write this for me.

I love fall, I mean love it. But it does bring bad memories for me. Some Good too.

The good is a grew very close to a friend, had crazy times with her, good stories for life. Found out a little about myself.

The bad is I became one of those girls.

This happen almost 3 years ago and it now that I can almost talk about it.

I was raped.

I was hit.

I was choked.

I was throw against a wall.

I was slapped everywhere on my body.

I was burned.

I was made to believe that I was nothing.

I was made to believe that I deserved everything that was coming to me.

I was stupid, I kept going back to him because I loved him. I though every bruise was proof of my love for him. I believed that his anger was my problem. I believed I did everything wrong.

Everyone was having fun, so I should too, right? That was fun, I was told it was.

I remember once he was so pissed off that he threw me against the wall, I bang my head so hard, that I became to bleed, I didn't blackout, almost. Everyone heard it and just though we were having sex, and he said that how he does it, "hard sex" and I just nodding, trying not to past out.

I always said no. It pissed him off that I wasn't having sex with him daily. It pissed him off so bad, that one day, he just pick me up by my neck, threw me on the bed, putting my arms, behind my back, taking off my pants, covering my face with a pillow and having his way with me. It was the most painful thing, he ever did to me. He got off and kiss me on the forehead and said, " see, it wasn't that bad". He acting like nothing happen. I always said no.

After that, I was stupid and drank the drinks he gave me. So I don't remember the others time too well.

I wish I could, I smarted up and left him but no. He just moved, we never really broke up. And I hate to say but I did miss him for months, maybe years.

I should have know it was bad when his friend though it was ok to choke me because I took the TV remote. But I didn't.

I will never be over this but I am working threw it on my own time, I am past the hate but the hurt will always be there.

Trust issues with guys will always will there. Trust issues with Jesus will be there for a long time.

I will be a better person because of this, One day, I just know it.

I am alive

Life been getting weirder and weirder but I am liking it.
So don't worry, I am still here. :)

Emotional Pain

I don't like to be hurt.
I don't like to feel emotional pain.

I push people away because I know I won't get hurt.
But now since I have done that, I am in more emotional pain then I think I can handle.

I know I need to let people back in. Love them as much as I can and Let them love me as much as they can.

The path I need to be on is the one that let me expect what people bring to the table. Good and the Bad.



The problem is I don't know how to get back on that path.

Baby Brother

I don't my baby brother is a baby anymore. :(

Here my proof,



So last Saturday I was taking my bro threw the drive threw, I was using my parent's van. It was a long line and it was hot so we open all the windows and the middle doors. Anyways, we were just sitting there, talking and all the sudden a bee was chilling on my arm. So I freak out and I guess, I freak out the bee and he flew away.



And my brother says," Holy Shit sister, you scared the hell out of me."


HAHAHAHAHA



You have to understand my brother is kinda of the golden children and the baby of the family. He gets away with everything and he does almost everything our parents say. He trys really hard to not to swear but I guess it slipped, haha. He coming into his own and I love the person he becoming.



oh, I will show pictures of my door product soon.

New Painting Job

So I have a bathroom, a really boring bathroom. But anyways, that back of the bathroom door has seen a lot of different designs on it. I always wanted to do something with it but could figure something good out.

Well, I think I got it!! Here a preview:

Here the back of the door before, really gross looking.

Here the Door after the magic cleaner. Shinny!!!

That just Day 1, more to come......