Thankfulgiving

So have blog in like 2 years, give or take a few. Oh well, I will start new...today.

Thanksgiving is not of one my favorite holidays but I do have things to be thankful like....

My family- I truly have the best mom, dad, sister and brother. I am very thankful that I get to call them my family.

My friends-the family that I choose. I am very thankful that I can call them friends and do silly things with them.

My job-I am very lucky that I have had this job for 5 years and I still am loving it.

Bruno-the best puppy in the world

Decisions that were made for me before I was born. If I wasn't adopted I wouldn't have the life I have.

My God-he loves me even when I don't deserved to be loved.

Small miracles that remind me everyday that life is worth it.

Many things but that all I can think of for now.

I am a very lucky girl.

Please Lord

I know that people who read blog (which no one reads mine) want blogs to be happy. Well I cannot even fake it anymore. I am not happy, I do not like my life. I don't see a point of getting out of bed anymore. In fact, if there is nothing going on, I don't usually get out of bed. I swear I don't see the point in my life anymore.

I know what people say, you are depressed which I am but it just a lot of things. I need a change. I need to feel God again. I need to know that my life is gonna turn out amazing. I feel like I have been doing the same damn thing for the past 22 years of my life. I need something, something big to change.

My whole life I have just wanted to be a mom and a wife. I pray all the time that it will happen. I pray all the time if it not supposed to happen, that God will take those desires away but he doesn't, they just get stronger. Well, why the hell hasn't it happen? I know I am only 22 but that all I want. All the others things don't even compare to how much I want to be a Mom and Wife. I can't even explain it.

Please Lord, hear me. Make something change so I see the point of living.

Fab Piggy

Isn't she the cutest?!?!

It a piggy bank and I am in love with her.

She is a mark down pig (normal price is $10.00, that crazy)

I got her for $2.99. I have wanted one forever, every time I would go to Target.

So I finally got one, she cute and cheap. Perfect

25

I finally did it. I join a gym.

It was number 25 off of my list (101 things to do in 1001 days).

Now comes the hard part, working out.

Hopefully I can do it.....no,

I CAN DO IT!!!

That what I need to keep telling myself.

I join Fitworks in Rocky River.

Yes, it a co ed gym, which isn't my favorite but it has a women's only part.

So please cheer me one, I will need it.

99

I crossed off number 99 on my list (101 things to do in 1001 days)

Get a Manicure and Pedicure just because I wannna

They are beautiful, lol. I got pink toes and some clear shiney fingers.

I went with a good friend,Vanessa. We were there forever but it was fun, nice convos.

Happy Birthday Amercia and Mikalia!!

Happy 4th of July!!!

I haven't to be honest, this isn't my favorite holiday because it such a family or couple holiday which I am either. But oh well, Happy 4th!!!

also.....

Today is Mikalia 7th Birthday.

Happy Birthday Miss Mikalia!!!

I cannot believe you are 7 years old. It has been a joy watching you for the past 5 years. You always know have to make me laugh, smile and sometimes mad, lol. I am one lucky babysitter, that is for sure. I love you very much!!

56

I crossed off number 56 today. Yes, I did it a little different but it done. (It only took me two weeks to cross one thing off my list, I need to do better)

Number 56, was to buy a blender and make tons of smoothies.

Well...a friend gave me her blender that she didn't want or need, at least I got one and it saved me money.

I already made one smoothies, just strawberry but it was soo good. (no picture)But I will make more and then take more pictures.

101 in 1001

I got this idea from some friends and I though it was a cool idea. I love making lists, lol. The deal is I have to come up with 101 things that I will 1001 days to complete. Some may cost money, some are personal things and some are just for fun. Some I might need for time but at least I am getting them started. I started this list on June 19, 2010 and I have till March 17, 2013 to finish. I hope I can, I am gonna give it my best shot. I encourage you to do it too. ( you can use this website to get the dates, www.timeanddate.com)

1.get married
2.have at least one kid, maybe two
3.be complete happy with my body, expect it for what it is
4. go on at least two misson trips (0/2)
5.make a road trip on going on just route 66
6.have my hair short for a while
7.get two tattoos (0/2)
8.read the entire bible
9.go to Europe
10.picket something really important to me
11.find a job that I love, don't make it about money
12.watch at least one person, turn their lives over to God
13.go on a cruise
14.go to Vegas
15.to have a dog, of my own
16.go to therapy,just to talk to someone who doesn't know my family or friends of mine, no pills
17.to meet my birthfather
18. to hear my birthmother tells me she loves me
19.Stay one weekend at the Madonna Inn in California
20.Put bubble gum on Bubble Gum Alley in San Luis Obispo, California
21.Loose the weight I need too and keep it off
22.Jump out of airplane ( the safe way)
23.Make some church, my home church
24.Get involved in my new church and meets lots and lots of people.
25.Join a gym
26.Go to gym at least 5 times a week
27.Be a camp consular at Beulah Beach for a summer
28.Throw a kick ass party in the middle of no where with friends and strangers( that will become friends)
29.Move to a small town, like Madison Ohio or Norwalk, Ohio
30.Meet Connor and Mason Moore
31.Finish College
32.Get a major (nursing) and minor (psy)
33.Pass all Ohio nursing tests
34.Join a Bible study
35. Make new friends at the Bible Study
36.Pray a least once a day for a month and work on more
37.Meet someone famous and take a picture with him/her
38.Learn two languages, Arabic and Spanish
39.Take some Photography Classes
40.Make a trip to Discovery Cove in Orlando, FL
41.Buy a pair of high heels
42.Wear heels once a month and try not to care how tall I am (0/34 months)
43.Take a weekend by myself and do what I want
44.Spend the day with my sister (Margaret) and do what she wants
45.Spend the day with my brother (Nate) and do what he wants
46.Ride on airplane, 2 or 3 times ( I love planes) (0/3)
47.Turn my 2009 year long pictures into a book, professional looking, nothing else.
48.Pass all the math classes needed for nursing degree
49.If not married by the time I am done with college, give up a year of life for an orphanage in a other country
50.In Nov. 2010, when my cell phone plan is up, get a GOOD new phone, not a cool looking one
51. Write more, even if it just about my day
52.Finish all the crafts that I have started but never finished
53.Do all my crafts in my to do folder
54.MOVE OUT of my parents house by the end of 2011
55.Take an vitamin a day the entire 1001 days (0/34months)
56.Buy a blender and make tons of smoothies
57. Buy a sewing machine
58.Make things with the new sewing machine
59.Re-created those amazing chicken sandwiches from the amazing restaurant
60.Cook and/or Bake at least 4 times a month (0/34months)
61.Make a (comfort) blanket for my bed. It must match
62. Buy a second queen size sheets and bed skit for my bed
63. Get a bigger and better memory card for my camera
64.Buy an Ipod(yes, I know it about time) Get it in purple
65. Start saving money for a new and better computer. Hopefully when 1001 days is over, I will enough. If not, keep on saving. (help needed on what kind of computer)
66.Go to the Cleveland and Akron Zoo this summer or next, if needed
67.Get my stuff more organize and keep it that way
68.Get the cute little frogs in the cube, save up $35.00
69.Buy a camcorder but save up for it, big or small just a good one
70.Get Margaret's thing done by her birthday (this year) Dec. 27, 2010
71. Buy an Adobe Photo shop Program and learn how to use it
72. Buy a new SLR camera and learn how to use it
73.Make my bed everyday for two months. Hopefully by then it will be more of a habit. (0/2months)
74. Blog each and every one of these. All 101. (0/101)
75.Learn how to drive stick shift
76. Go to a drive in movie (never done that before)
77. Give blood again hopefully it won't be as bad as the first time
78. Serve a meal or two at the local soup kitchen
79.Go to a baseball game in the summer. Maybe even two.
80. Do a devotion once a day the entire 1001 days (0/1001days)
81.Find a couple of devotional books (suggestions wanted)
82. Get all my Christmas shopping done by Dec. 20, 2010, 2011, and 2012
83. Get every one's presents to them before Jan. 2010, 2011 and 2012
84. Get all my pictures into photo albums
85. Pray for the people I say I will pray for, more than once.
86.Sponsor a Child and write letters to them
87.Pay for the meal of the person behind me in the drive threw at a fast food restaurant
88. Finish school (college) with good grades
89.Visit Hawaii again
90.Write Debbie a letter once a month and keep up with it, don't let it stop like it did (0/34 months)
91.See Vanessa's baby, Nov. 28, 2o10
92.Spend of my gift cards (seven) this year (2010) before this year(2010) is over (0/7)
93.Visit four states that I never been before(0/4)
94.Buy a Vera Bradley Bag, save up for it
95.Start a savings account
96. Put $50.00 a month into the savings account
97.Get a new car. A Jeep Commander would be great.
98.Go to a concert. Maybe even two.
99.Get a manicure and pedicure just cause I wanna
100. See Toy Story 3
101.Check this list every week,so I can see what I can check off and do

I will check off what I do and tell you about it.

I'm Back

So I know no one read this so I quit writing. But I am back. I have a cool idea and I hope you follow and maybe do it for yourself.

BFFs

Here the thing, I don't believe in bff (best friends forever) anymore. The reason be is because we don't know how we are gonna to change as a person.

When we are 1o years old or even younger, we don't know what kind of person we are gonna become.

Yes, I know some people are still friends with their high school, middle school friends. Good for them, it a blessing that it work out.

But seriously, people change and grow up, people don't stay the same.

I guess for me, it sucks that I had to learn the hard way.

Here to stupid friends and stupid friendships.
yeah right.

To Me

Happy Birthday to Me!!!
Hip Hip Horray!!!
22 years!!!

Here to other 22 years!!!

Remember Today

A year ago today, baby Cora with to be with Jesus. Please pray for Joel, Jess and new baby Levi, as I am sure today is a hard day for them.

Life is precious, Cora taught me that.

We all miss you Cora.

We all love you guys, Jess, Joel and baby Levi.

It Your Day

Today is your day, Mya!! Happy 4th Birthday!!! You are cute and adorable and my favorite four year old in the world. I so lucky that I get to be your nanny, it been amazing watching you grow up. Your Ice Skating party will be amazing, I know it. You are amazing kid, just keep on growing up amazing. I love you, lots and lots.

13 Days away

In 13 days, it will be Valentine's Day.
well, well, well, well....
Vday can kiss my ass.

I usually the person who say that Valentine's day is not just about couples, it about all the people that we love and people that love us. Well, I am sick of being single and I am sick of seeing couples. I am just sick of it.

I mean, come on, in all my 22 years (ok, 21 but I will be 22 on the 17th so close enough), I have never had a valentine. Usually guys break up with me right before Valentine's Day then get back when with me when it over.

I WANT ONE!!!

I just want true love, I really do.
Apparently, that way too much to ask for.



ok ok, I am done complaining. (for now)

Un-Happy New Year!!

In the beginning of 2009, I was so excited. I believed that 2009 was going to be my year. The year that I finally got the whole college thing, figure out. I was going to fall in love. I was going to travel more. I was gonna to find my place in the church. I was gonna to figure out my purpose. High hopes, I guess?



Don't get me wrong, 2009 wasn't horrible, it just wasn't what I though it should have been.



For 2010, I just don't care, I say with a chuckle. Because I don't want any hopes for this year, No, I don't expect anything at all. I do have hope for this year, I mean you gotta to have some hope, just a little. But I do believe nothing will happen. I believe I will be in the same place that I am now when 2010 is over.



I guess I don't expect anything from myself anymore, which is sad but it where I am at. My dreams and where I am at, just don't match and I am not happy with it. But I can't figure out how to change it.