Saturday, August 7, 2010

Please Lord

I know that people who read blog (which no one reads mine) want blogs to be happy. Well I cannot even fake it anymore. I am not happy, I do not like my life. I don't see a point of getting out of bed anymore. In fact, if there is nothing going on, I don't usually get out of bed. I swear I don't see the point in my life anymore.

I know what people say, you are depressed which I am but it just a lot of things. I need a change. I need to feel God again. I need to know that my life is gonna turn out amazing. I feel like I have been doing the same damn thing for the past 22 years of my life. I need something, something big to change.

My whole life I have just wanted to be a mom and a wife. I pray all the time that it will happen. I pray all the time if it not supposed to happen, that God will take those desires away but he doesn't, they just get stronger. Well, why the hell hasn't it happen? I know I am only 22 but that all I want. All the others things don't even compare to how much I want to be a Mom and Wife. I can't even explain it.

Please Lord, hear me. Make something change so I see the point of living.

1 comment:

Roxanne Ocasio said...

I can understand this completely.

I'm 23, and when you're Puerto Rican that basically means you're an old maid. Yes, I would like to be a wife and mother too, but I've finally lost the desire to have it happen RIGHT NOW.

I think, Kay, that you should try to seek out other things in your life right now. Desires don't just leave. I get lonely sometimes, but I also have other things I'm trying to work toward. I want to see and do things that will fill up my life while I'm waiting. Sometimes God works when we take that step of faith ourselves.